Aging

I now suspect that MOMO acted not only as a comfort after loss and a hedge against loneliness, but as a bridge to understanding my own aging process – the “fading colors” transition. In our culture, as a woman grows older her appearance is regarded as somehow diminished. She can, at times, experience near invisibility. Though a woman’s physical beauty may be considered on the wane, women, more often, come to be defined more by accomplishments, rather than appearance. While some women handle this transformation with grace and elegance, others, craving the attention their looks once garnered, cling pitifully to the trappings of a youthful society. They may even begin engaging in behaviors and activities for the purpose of gaining attention or meeting people. I had to ask myself the hard questions. Was MOMO truly an artist’s social science experiment? Did I welcome and anticipate a learning curve that would teach me volumes about myself and others? Or…was my situation and loneliness so pressing that I sought interactions with the help of a life-sized doll instead of, say, a dog? Would I make barriers, or break barriers, by carrying her? Initially, I was not prepared for the “pull and push” of a project that would draw some people to me and repel others. I was completely unprepared for the ways in which MOMO burst my “invisibility” bubble and drew attention - both positive and negative.